Sunday, 30 August 2009
Monday, 17 August 2009
Like Tahotally Amazing...Not.
When i started this blog, it was all because some idiot decided to dress up in an iPod costume (guthrdav45.blogspot.com/2009/03/icostume.html) and realised that blogger was for idiots. So i kept his blog bookmarked just to see if there were any other costumes...sadly, none. However, he did post this blog (found here) which i just have to share. Its his 'Like Tahotally Amazing' Blog on Lake Tahoe which he lists in point form and I'm going to point out how ridiculously stupid they are.
- Cycling along the marina, down to the beach.
Ok...I'm sorry, I've never ridden by bike along a beach before or from one place to a beach. I mean, there is sand and water. Unless this water is the fountain of youth, its still just water with sand, which i believe is around 95% of all beaches have?? And riding a bike...Wow..not impressive.
- Staring into a clear night's sky, stars like lights on a ceiling.
QUICKLY LOOK AT THE LIGHT ON THE CEILING! Blinded? You should be cause that's what lights on a ceiling does to you! I've never looked up at a ceiling and gone 'Wow, this reminds me of a clear night full of stars' cause i all ways get BLINDED. You idiot.
- Floating on a peddle boat, dangling your feet in the crystal clear water
People, the last time i was on a peddle boat you had to PEDDLE it. These boats are not floating boats, otherwise they would be called floating boats. Your feet are not there for dangling...they could be cut off if an actual peddle boat comes past. Hey, i know what I'll be doing on a peddle boat when I'm on it next...peddling.
- Skimming stones on the lake as dusk settles
Why does it have to be when dusk settles? Why cant it be when the sun rises? Does it have to be skimming stones? Can i skim a dead body? All valid questions. However, it still remains why we need to do it at dusk. Other, more entertaining activities also include Jelly Wrestling, Sexual intercourse and Grand Theft Auto on the Laptop you brought.
- Having a Milkshake, walking along a boardwalk, while families frolic on the beach
- Sharing a Beer with friends, under July 4th Fireworks
I'm sorry, which one is it? Milkshake or Beer? You cant have it both ways however i just thought of a brilliant new milkshake flavour. I dunno if beer is the right thing for families on the beach....especially since they will be there during the day which isn't a good time to go drinking. And what about the kids! i can see a 3 year old knocking back a beer now. Make up your mind, is it beer or milkshake families?
I hope this guy really stays as much of an idiot as he is cause i could use his material more often. Feedback appreciated.
Mr G
Thursday, 13 August 2009
Stevie (Blind when Drunk) Wonder and Kat (Cat) S Part 3
Stevie (Blind when Drunk) Wonder and Kat (Cat) S
Two white rappers with no talent. This is their story.
Part 3: Sorry, Excitement Xylophones Under Arrest, Lady (SEXUAL)
Sorry, Excitement Xylophones Under Arrest, Lady (SEXUAL) was formed in early 2007 when Stevie (Blind when Drunk) Wonder met up with Kat (Cat) S in a rap contest. It was here that BWD and Cat had a immediate like for each others work. However, no one else did.
BWD and Cat started penning their first album together under their new act name SEXUAL. Their first single released was 'Microphone Microphone, its what we use to sing into'. The problem with this single was the fact they were rappers, and rappers don't sing. It didn't even chart in the market where BWD was best known for, Tibetan charts.
Even though they were struggling for money, and BWD selling his body for...well, unmentionable acts, and Cat going back to breeding cats, they realised their first album 'Organic Rabbit Goes Away. Simple, Machine (ORGASM). Due to the title being shorten to ORGASM it was a raging favourite in the sex charts, peaking at number 1 for the first week, selling an amazing 154,000 records. However, when people realised what it was, it set a new record for most album returns within a week...154,000.
SEXUAL ended 2007 with a range of awards including 'Worst New Rap Act' and 'Most likely to be caught having sex with animals'
2008 saw a change in direction for the duo. Instead of heading west to record albums and singles, they moved to the east, which upsetted absolutely no one. The decided to move once again to the quiet coastal town of Sydney, to get away from all the hustle and bustle of Melbourne.
It was Sydney where BWD met his new girlfriend Candy. Candy had a like for...Candy. She wasnt the brightest person and suggested they write a rap song named Candy. All about Candy. BWD did write a song about Candy as a side project to SEXUAL. However, when he sung about the chocolate, his girlfriend was not too impressed with this. Needless to say 2008 ended with the couple breaking up. Leasthe got some boob action.
So around comes 2009 what will SEXUAL have for the future? With their 2nd album in works at the moment, and no hope based on their past failings, one has to ask...Why do they keep trying??
Mr G
Two white rappers with no talent. This is their story.
Part 3: Sorry, Excitement Xylophones Under Arrest, Lady (SEXUAL)
Sorry, Excitement Xylophones Under Arrest, Lady (SEXUAL) was formed in early 2007 when Stevie (Blind when Drunk) Wonder met up with Kat (Cat) S in a rap contest. It was here that BWD and Cat had a immediate like for each others work. However, no one else did.
BWD and Cat started penning their first album together under their new act name SEXUAL. Their first single released was 'Microphone Microphone, its what we use to sing into'. The problem with this single was the fact they were rappers, and rappers don't sing. It didn't even chart in the market where BWD was best known for, Tibetan charts.
Even though they were struggling for money, and BWD selling his body for...well, unmentionable acts, and Cat going back to breeding cats, they realised their first album 'Organic Rabbit Goes Away. Simple, Machine (ORGASM). Due to the title being shorten to ORGASM it was a raging favourite in the sex charts, peaking at number 1 for the first week, selling an amazing 154,000 records. However, when people realised what it was, it set a new record for most album returns within a week...154,000.
SEXUAL ended 2007 with a range of awards including 'Worst New Rap Act' and 'Most likely to be caught having sex with animals'
2008 saw a change in direction for the duo. Instead of heading west to record albums and singles, they moved to the east, which upsetted absolutely no one. The decided to move once again to the quiet coastal town of Sydney, to get away from all the hustle and bustle of Melbourne.
It was Sydney where BWD met his new girlfriend Candy. Candy had a like for...Candy. She wasnt the brightest person and suggested they write a rap song named Candy. All about Candy. BWD did write a song about Candy as a side project to SEXUAL. However, when he sung about the chocolate, his girlfriend was not too impressed with this. Needless to say 2008 ended with the couple breaking up. Leasthe got some boob action.
So around comes 2009 what will SEXUAL have for the future? With their 2nd album in works at the moment, and no hope based on their past failings, one has to ask...Why do they keep trying??
Mr G
Wednesday, 12 August 2009
Stevie (Blind when Drunk) and Kat (Cat) S. Part 2
Stevie (Blind when Drunk) and Kat (Cat) S.
Two white rappers with no talent. This is their story.
Part 2: Kat (Cat) S.
Kat (Cat) S. was born in a little country town called Toorak on Jan 15th 1986. From an early age, Kat had an fascination with cats. She started playing with them as soon as could walk and have been caring for them ever since. At the ripe old age of 7 she was granted a title 'Crazy Cat Pre-teen illegal to have sex with Girl'.
With the cats all ways meowing in the back ground, Kat decided to pursue rapping, at the age of 10 realising a very very very oh so very unsuccessful song 'Meow' where she just recorded her cats meowing. 'It was like slaughtering a goat' according to Rolling Stones Magazine. With this setback, Kat managed to finish Primary School like her now co-rapper at the age of 11 in 1997.
During High School, Kat also entered the High School Talent show like Stevie, however at completely different schools. He re-mix of the early very unsuccessful 'like slaughtering a goat' single 'Meow' proved equally unpopular, getting booed and hiss off the staged. Did this not deter Kat and decided to take a new approach: Put words in her songs.
In 2002 Kat released a new single, titled 'Water'. With the noise of oceans and seas in the background, it sounded more of a song for amateur night at the local Poetry club rather than a rap song where the only lyrics was 'H to da 2 to da O.o.ooooo' It peaked at a low low looooooooww 514 on the Japanese charts. The best result for Kat ever.
Later in the year, Kat released her album 'Fire Extinguishers are for putting out Fires' which was a sure fire flop. Maybe they needed a Fire Extinguisher to put out her career. This did no deter Kat, as she spent the next 2 years locked away in a Monk Monastery learning the ways of the Nun. The results were inclusive.
Early 2005 saw Kat back in the studio to record her, still unfinished project, 'Nuns and Monks: The forbidden Love', rumoured to be unfinished because no studio would waste resources on it, even if paid $1million and no record company would sign her up, even if paid $10million as both feel they would end up losing more money due to a poor reputation with the public as a result of signing Kat up.
It was early 2007 that Kat met up with Stevie (Blind when Drunk) Wonder to form the all white group: Sorry, Excitement Xylophones Under Arrest, Lady! (SEXUAL!).
Part 3 will continue with the SEXUAL! story.
Mr G
Two white rappers with no talent. This is their story.
Part 2: Kat (Cat) S.
Kat (Cat) S. was born in a little country town called Toorak on Jan 15th 1986. From an early age, Kat had an fascination with cats. She started playing with them as soon as could walk and have been caring for them ever since. At the ripe old age of 7 she was granted a title 'Crazy Cat Pre-teen illegal to have sex with Girl'.
With the cats all ways meowing in the back ground, Kat decided to pursue rapping, at the age of 10 realising a very very very oh so very unsuccessful song 'Meow' where she just recorded her cats meowing. 'It was like slaughtering a goat' according to Rolling Stones Magazine. With this setback, Kat managed to finish Primary School like her now co-rapper at the age of 11 in 1997.
During High School, Kat also entered the High School Talent show like Stevie, however at completely different schools. He re-mix of the early very unsuccessful 'like slaughtering a goat' single 'Meow' proved equally unpopular, getting booed and hiss off the staged. Did this not deter Kat and decided to take a new approach: Put words in her songs.
In 2002 Kat released a new single, titled 'Water'. With the noise of oceans and seas in the background, it sounded more of a song for amateur night at the local Poetry club rather than a rap song where the only lyrics was 'H to da 2 to da O.o.ooooo' It peaked at a low low looooooooww 514 on the Japanese charts. The best result for Kat ever.
Later in the year, Kat released her album 'Fire Extinguishers are for putting out Fires' which was a sure fire flop. Maybe they needed a Fire Extinguisher to put out her career. This did no deter Kat, as she spent the next 2 years locked away in a Monk Monastery learning the ways of the Nun. The results were inclusive.
Early 2005 saw Kat back in the studio to record her, still unfinished project, 'Nuns and Monks: The forbidden Love', rumoured to be unfinished because no studio would waste resources on it, even if paid $1million and no record company would sign her up, even if paid $10million as both feel they would end up losing more money due to a poor reputation with the public as a result of signing Kat up.
It was early 2007 that Kat met up with Stevie (Blind when Drunk) Wonder to form the all white group: Sorry, Excitement Xylophones Under Arrest, Lady! (SEXUAL!).
Part 3 will continue with the SEXUAL! story.
Mr G
Stevie (Blind when Drunk) Wonder and Kat (Kat) S.
Stevie (Blind when Drunk) Wonder and Kat (Cat) S.
Two white rappers with no talent. This is their story.
Part 1: Stevie (Blind when Drunk) Wonder
Stevie (Blind when Drunk) Wonder was born in a little seaside town called St Kilda on August 17th 1987. From a young age, he started drinking, in fact getting drunk off rum balls at the ripe old age of . Here it was he impressed a family Christmas party, in 1991, with his own version of Ice Ice Baby. Since this wasn't hard to emulate, and due to the fact he was very drunk off Rum Balls, he focused his music life to rapping.
However, an early setback in 1993 was his name, and the legal action presented on him by the real Stevie Wonder. It was at this point he needed a Rapper name to sell his music by and so Blind When Drunk (BWD) was born.
His first album, released at 7, titled 'Rum Balls for Kids' was a sure fire flop, peaking at a woeful 278 in the New Zealand Charts and failing to chart anywhere else on the planet. However, it did chart at #3 on the Tibetan Charts, although it was the only album realised there in over 50 years, losing to The Complete Works of Mozart (Selling 3 records) and Tibetan Love Making Songs (Selling 2 records). In fact, the only sale was a mistake as it got mixed up with Mozart.
The next 5 years saw BWD go into exile (Attend Schooling) where he finally finished Primary School at the age of 11. Not an achievement as 98% of kids that age do pass Primary school first time around.
BWD continue to pursue Rapping even in high school. He entered the Talent Show in 2000 with a song simply entitled 'Masturbation'. Needless to say, demonstrating it on stage isn't considered a talent, and was promptly suspended for the next 2 weeks from school.
BWD continue his studies, doing music all the way through, and even graduating in 2005 with all his honours in Musical Studies, however failed to complete English as, in his words, 'Could not see any rhythm of beat'. It was Early 2006 that he realised a somewhat uncontroversial single 'Pants and Trousers' where he raps about Pants and Trousers. It, again, didn't chart at all. It was followed up by his 2nd album in the same year 'T-Shirts and Shorts are not for Winter' pretty much summing up what any sane person would not wear in Winter, especially how cold it gets in St Kilda.
It was early 2007 that BWD met up with now his associate act, Kat (Cat) S to form the all White Rap Group: Sorry, Excitement Xylophones Under Arrest Lady (SEXUAL)
Part 2 will continue with Kat (Cat) S story following up with the Duo
Two white rappers with no talent. This is their story.
Part 1: Stevie (Blind when Drunk) Wonder
Stevie (Blind when Drunk) Wonder was born in a little seaside town called St Kilda on August 17th 1987. From a young age, he started drinking, in fact getting drunk off rum balls at the ripe old age of . Here it was he impressed a family Christmas party, in 1991, with his own version of Ice Ice Baby. Since this wasn't hard to emulate, and due to the fact he was very drunk off Rum Balls, he focused his music life to rapping.
However, an early setback in 1993 was his name, and the legal action presented on him by the real Stevie Wonder. It was at this point he needed a Rapper name to sell his music by and so Blind When Drunk (BWD) was born.
His first album, released at 7, titled 'Rum Balls for Kids' was a sure fire flop, peaking at a woeful 278 in the New Zealand Charts and failing to chart anywhere else on the planet. However, it did chart at #3 on the Tibetan Charts, although it was the only album realised there in over 50 years, losing to The Complete Works of Mozart (Selling 3 records) and Tibetan Love Making Songs (Selling 2 records). In fact, the only sale was a mistake as it got mixed up with Mozart.
The next 5 years saw BWD go into exile (Attend Schooling) where he finally finished Primary School at the age of 11. Not an achievement as 98% of kids that age do pass Primary school first time around.
BWD continue to pursue Rapping even in high school. He entered the Talent Show in 2000 with a song simply entitled 'Masturbation'. Needless to say, demonstrating it on stage isn't considered a talent, and was promptly suspended for the next 2 weeks from school.
BWD continue his studies, doing music all the way through, and even graduating in 2005 with all his honours in Musical Studies, however failed to complete English as, in his words, 'Could not see any rhythm of beat'. It was Early 2006 that he realised a somewhat uncontroversial single 'Pants and Trousers' where he raps about Pants and Trousers. It, again, didn't chart at all. It was followed up by his 2nd album in the same year 'T-Shirts and Shorts are not for Winter' pretty much summing up what any sane person would not wear in Winter, especially how cold it gets in St Kilda.
It was early 2007 that BWD met up with now his associate act, Kat (Cat) S to form the all White Rap Group: Sorry, Excitement Xylophones Under Arrest Lady (SEXUAL)
Part 2 will continue with Kat (Cat) S story following up with the Duo
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