Wow. I was browsing blogs to make fun of and i can across this delightful person and i just felt the need to post something.
Lets get some feedback first on this person who has such a delightfully painful and stupid blog.
Her name is Cami. She is 20 years old.
Good start Cami.
She works as a hair stylist. Its the 'FUNNEST' job in the world.
Well, Cami. I'm sorry to say funnest is not a word. Hair stlyist?? I'm sorry i think being Hugh Hefner would be the 'Funnest' job in the world. That's from a male prespective. But keep up with a job that suits your IQ of about 90. While we are at it, the closest word to 'Funnest' is actually 'Funest' which is an adjective meaning boding or causing evil or death; fatal; disastrous. Im taking your job is one that causes evil or death. I suggest you don't quit your job cause its highly unlikely you would get a job anywhere else.
Cami has an amazing boyfriend she has so much fun with!
REALLY?! Fuck me...you have fun with your boyfriend and he is amazing??? I think the two go hand in hand. Now Cami next line wasn't the brightest moment in her 'introduction' but it made me laugh.
i have the cutest neice and nephew! and soon to be another nephew and another baby in september!
Cami...you are female. You can not be a nephew unless you under go some surgery. Also to add you are 'soon to be ANOTHER nephew'. You can not be more than one nephew if you were a nephew in the first place. Also you list all these neices and nephews than at the end it's 'another baby' i feel sorry for this baby! You don't take the time to list any relation to you.
Well, Cami finishes up by saying thats just a little insight into my life and the things i love most. Ok. Cool. You love your boyfriend. You seem to enjoy a job that brings evil to people, in your words. What about your siblings? Do you have siblings? You don't love your parents? How do they feel about being left out? What about your friends? You're from Utah, the home of Mormans...family should be the first thing in your list. Im am outraged that you forgot your parents.
I was reading her latest blog about Lake Powell (Notice the capitals at the start?) and where do i begin to pick this apart? (For my readers the post is here: http://camibrems.blogspot.com/2009/06/lake-powell-2009.html) Pretty basic, had a good time, ate junk food, bad whether etc. But she gets to stay on the Arizona side of the lake next week which will be very different. ITS A FUCKEN LAKE. ITS THE SAME ON BOTH SIDES. The only difference is she is in a different state! Just like our Murry river...ITS NO FUCKING DIFFERENT than staying on either side.
Well, Australia, i made my anger clear, and pulled apart her blog. Cami, welcome to the list of blogs i will be watching from now on. The best thing about you being mentally challenged is you got 5 Blogs i can look at and pull apart.
Mr G
Saturday, 27 June 2009
Thursday, 18 June 2009
Midget Blog
The Midget Blog
Well, i was away in the UK for the past week and someone suggested i do a blog on the English. i decieded against this, however she did give me a good idea for Midgets. What are they? Where do they come from? What do they do? How do you treat one?
Well all that will be answered for you below.
What are they?
Midgets are a smaller form of Humans. They usually are jolly type characters, well rounded and grow to a massive 2 feet tall. Puddles post drowning risks so it not unusual for them to be wearing life jackets or floaties when it is raining outside. Small items, usually reserved for 'Not Suitable for 3years and under' apply to midgets as well.
Where do they come from?
Origins of Midgets are somewhat clouded in mystery still to this day. Alot of people have studied them, and spent years on trying to work out exactly where they come from. The most common theory out there is they evolved, just like Humans. However, they didnt come from mammels like our ancestors, they came from more a plant life. To be exact, Potatoes are their origins. They saw the capabilities of these walking, living breathing animals and decided as potatoes, would go up through the dirt and explore life just like the others thus being the first plant life with intellgence.
What do they do?
Midgets dont do much, except they are highly sort after by freak shows where people pay to look, point and laugh at how small they are. This is how they make their earnings. Now, midgets dont need money as most people do (usually cause they cant see above the counter to buy anything) but rather enjoy getting paid with Bananas.
How do you treat a midget?
You have to be delicate when treating midgets as they are fragile and tend to break, espically when you post them through the mail. Just as in freak shows, you can point and laugh at them. They generally enjoy this if you've thrown them a banana first. Whats the worst that could happen? They might bite your ankles, in which case you can easily step on them.
And thats all you need to know about midgets. Any further questions or information needed just ask.
Mr G
Well, i was away in the UK for the past week and someone suggested i do a blog on the English. i decieded against this, however she did give me a good idea for Midgets. What are they? Where do they come from? What do they do? How do you treat one?
Well all that will be answered for you below.
What are they?
Midgets are a smaller form of Humans. They usually are jolly type characters, well rounded and grow to a massive 2 feet tall. Puddles post drowning risks so it not unusual for them to be wearing life jackets or floaties when it is raining outside. Small items, usually reserved for 'Not Suitable for 3years and under' apply to midgets as well.
Where do they come from?
Origins of Midgets are somewhat clouded in mystery still to this day. Alot of people have studied them, and spent years on trying to work out exactly where they come from. The most common theory out there is they evolved, just like Humans. However, they didnt come from mammels like our ancestors, they came from more a plant life. To be exact, Potatoes are their origins. They saw the capabilities of these walking, living breathing animals and decided as potatoes, would go up through the dirt and explore life just like the others thus being the first plant life with intellgence.
What do they do?
Midgets dont do much, except they are highly sort after by freak shows where people pay to look, point and laugh at how small they are. This is how they make their earnings. Now, midgets dont need money as most people do (usually cause they cant see above the counter to buy anything) but rather enjoy getting paid with Bananas.
How do you treat a midget?
You have to be delicate when treating midgets as they are fragile and tend to break, espically when you post them through the mail. Just as in freak shows, you can point and laugh at them. They generally enjoy this if you've thrown them a banana first. Whats the worst that could happen? They might bite your ankles, in which case you can easily step on them.
And thats all you need to know about midgets. Any further questions or information needed just ask.
Mr G
Tuesday, 9 June 2009
Marriage for a Man
Today i thought i would write about the 'Pro's and Con's' of marriage for a man.
Lets start with the Cons
Having to wake up to the same person every single bloodly day.
I think the title says it all. Why would you want to roll over and see that same face? what if they arent to 'standard' after 5 years? Just not good enough. Woman have to maintain a standard and have to look good when they are 60 years old.
Joint bank accounts.
Why should she share in your wealth? You been out there earning the hard money, and SHE gets to spend it on new shoes and dresses? Not fair. And how does shoes improve the quality of living? You only need 3 pairs: Work shoes, Sports Shoes and Suit shoes. Thongs are not shoes.
Having to spend 'alone time' with the missus.
Its called ALONE time meaning to be ALONE. Not snuggling with your significant other. Not going on sunday drives to the country side to see a nice quint little town. No. Alone times means spending time on your own, most likely masturbating to porn or watching that sport show you love some much.
Less Sex
Lets face it. Youre going to get less sex. She just not in the mood cause she wants to spend 'Quality Time' with you. There is no such thing as quality time. The real reason why we married you is cause youre the best sex ever. We lock you up expecting to get it all the time. How dumb men can be sometimes.
Try to divorce, it costs money
Stupid really. If you get sick of someone, you should be able to leave with what YOU earnt. Not giving half of it away. Marriage is costly. The wedding cost money, the divorce costs more. And worst of all, they will put a hex out on you with all their female friends, so there goes sleeping with her sister.
And now for the pros...
Nothing. There is no positive for a man. You get sucked in, balls beating up, lose half your money and total freedom and what you get in return? A kid? Wow!! Maybe 2 or 5...which doesnt really matter cause you spend MORE money on them, and unless they are a Tiger Woods or Roger Federer you wont see any of it again.
Mr G
Lets start with the Cons
Having to wake up to the same person every single bloodly day.
I think the title says it all. Why would you want to roll over and see that same face? what if they arent to 'standard' after 5 years? Just not good enough. Woman have to maintain a standard and have to look good when they are 60 years old.
Joint bank accounts.
Why should she share in your wealth? You been out there earning the hard money, and SHE gets to spend it on new shoes and dresses? Not fair. And how does shoes improve the quality of living? You only need 3 pairs: Work shoes, Sports Shoes and Suit shoes. Thongs are not shoes.
Having to spend 'alone time' with the missus.
Its called ALONE time meaning to be ALONE. Not snuggling with your significant other. Not going on sunday drives to the country side to see a nice quint little town. No. Alone times means spending time on your own, most likely masturbating to porn or watching that sport show you love some much.
Less Sex
Lets face it. Youre going to get less sex. She just not in the mood cause she wants to spend 'Quality Time' with you. There is no such thing as quality time. The real reason why we married you is cause youre the best sex ever. We lock you up expecting to get it all the time. How dumb men can be sometimes.
Try to divorce, it costs money
Stupid really. If you get sick of someone, you should be able to leave with what YOU earnt. Not giving half of it away. Marriage is costly. The wedding cost money, the divorce costs more. And worst of all, they will put a hex out on you with all their female friends, so there goes sleeping with her sister.
And now for the pros...
Nothing. There is no positive for a man. You get sucked in, balls beating up, lose half your money and total freedom and what you get in return? A kid? Wow!! Maybe 2 or 5...which doesnt really matter cause you spend MORE money on them, and unless they are a Tiger Woods or Roger Federer you wont see any of it again.
Mr G
Tuesday, 2 June 2009
Penis Envy
DID YOU KNOW that 1 in 2 people suffer from PENIS ENVY? Penis envy you ask...yes its a serious problem among teenagers and adults these days.
How can i help? You ask yourself...well, for starters you can go to a local GP to find out if you have penis envy.
Symptons include
*Enlarged Genetials (This includes Vaginal Flaps and Testicles)
*Uncontrolable Sexual Movement within the pelvic area
*Burning sensation when you eat chilli
*The ability to think you can fly
*Loss of condoms during sexual intercorse.
If any of these are present, you should consult a medical doctor as soon as possible as it may spread.
How do i catch Penis Envy you ask...well there are a number of ways
*Exchanging Bodily Fluids inside a public toilet
*Cooties
*Looking at male geneitally for long periods of time (Main cause for men)
*Masturbating while watching a threesome...the bad threesome (2 men and a woman)
What do i do if i have Penis Envy?
Well there are a range of treatments to help cure the illness. These include
*Cream: Apply to your genetils twice a day
*Tablet: To take with your three meals...may cause hunger
*Anti-presperant Spray: Just cause you smell bad
Penis Envy usually takes 6 months of no sexual activities to clear up, but with these treatments limits it to just 3 months of no sexual activities. That includes using the palm for those 'special occasions' when youre a bit lonely at night and need to rub one out.
So its not deadly? No...out of the 3 billion cases world wide reported, only 2 people have died from Penis Envy....and also drink driving.
Where to now? Well, lets help fight Penis Envy as a team!
How can i help? You ask yourself...well, for starters you can go to a local GP to find out if you have penis envy.
Symptons include
*Enlarged Genetials (This includes Vaginal Flaps and Testicles)
*Uncontrolable Sexual Movement within the pelvic area
*Burning sensation when you eat chilli
*The ability to think you can fly
*Loss of condoms during sexual intercorse.
If any of these are present, you should consult a medical doctor as soon as possible as it may spread.
How do i catch Penis Envy you ask...well there are a number of ways
*Exchanging Bodily Fluids inside a public toilet
*Cooties
*Looking at male geneitally for long periods of time (Main cause for men)
*Masturbating while watching a threesome...the bad threesome (2 men and a woman)
What do i do if i have Penis Envy?
Well there are a range of treatments to help cure the illness. These include
*Cream: Apply to your genetils twice a day
*Tablet: To take with your three meals...may cause hunger
*Anti-presperant Spray: Just cause you smell bad
Penis Envy usually takes 6 months of no sexual activities to clear up, but with these treatments limits it to just 3 months of no sexual activities. That includes using the palm for those 'special occasions' when youre a bit lonely at night and need to rub one out.
So its not deadly? No...out of the 3 billion cases world wide reported, only 2 people have died from Penis Envy....and also drink driving.
Where to now? Well, lets help fight Penis Envy as a team!
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