Japan

Found this photo. Nuff Said.

Willie Stroker

Came across this photo. Nuff said :)

Public Notices

Well, i was wondering what could i post today? Its been a while and i need something to get going...I know, lets read the public notices and comment on them.

I shit you not, these are all real.


First up are some sex chat lines.

'Action in 2mins'

You're telling me that for a lazy 1.95pm (thats 3.90 all up) i can get action? On the phone?! Isnt that what they are suppose to do? give action? Now all i want to know is do i have to wait the 2 minutes or does it happen within the 2 minutes...hmmm

'Grannies Plus more'

PLUS MORE?! WHAT MORE COULD YOU POSSIBLE WANT?! ITS GRANNIES!!!!

'Phone Satisfaction'

Yes, pay 1.95 for a phone..that will satisfy you......

'Trannies Live'

There are pre-recorded sex messages?? You mean that they arent all ways live??

'You've been a naughty boy'

No, no i havent.

Yes, these and more are all in the Herald Sun every day. I could go on, and i probably will. Stay tuned.

Mr G

Why Letter Openers are Pointless

I was watching tv today and i notice that people use letter openers to open a letter. I can see it working for packages that are wrapped up in string, but a normal envelope?? Ok, so where do i start?

An envelope is made out of PAPER. If you are too retarded or not strong enough to rip a peice of paper open, than you dont deserve a letter.

A letter opener is just another knife. I use a knife for butter, if i wanted to open mail, why not just use a butter knife? Its not that hard! Plus i could save about $10 on buying a pointless device that i can easily accomplished with these two little things God gave me...HANDS.

What if the person doesnt have hands? You might ask...Well, you cant exactly hold a letter opener without hands now can you?

Letter openers are pointless....

What guys expect after each date

Ok this is slowly starting to turn into a sexist blog, but hey with all this feminism around and women TRYING so hard to find the right guy, this might help them actually get a guy.

Here is the thing, Date by Date, what guys want...plus some extra tips for girls to know.

Date 1: A Kiss. Thats if it goes well. If he wants to kiss you, it means he likes you. Well, at least wants to have sex with you.

Date 2: A Grope. Guys love tits, some guys like ass. Either way, guys want to feel and touch the ass or some nice boobs.

Date 3: Hand Job or at least some boobs. By this time, the guy has invested some hard earn money into this 'relationship'. Its time for those ladies to start repaying the man for his effort.

Date 4: Blowjob. If the lady doesnt like giving head, than she better start putting out. A guy will go out with a girl who doesnt give head on one condition: Sex.

Date 5: Time to get Naked. If by this stage the man hasnt seen the lady naked, he will be wondering why he hasnt gone to a prostitute yet. This stage, women can get away by not having sex (im on my period) but that only works for a week.

Date 6-8. SEX TIME. Guys that dont get sex on the 6th date will give it one or two more goes to see if they can get it. Ladies, if you havent put out by this time, its over. The man will merly move on. Get those legs open, and let him slide inside you ladies.

Women, what do you expect? Men are not that hard to please (as seen in the 10 Ways to please a man). Also, if a guy pays for something, it doesnt mean he really likes you. It means he wants more action sooner. No guy is stupid enough to spend money on a lady unless sex is involved. Thats why prostiutes stay in business cause if they wanted to blow money on sex, thats where they go. Same principles in dating.

Top 10 ways to please a Man

Ok, i did the 10 ways for picking up women, what about the Men??

10. Give him Anal. As homosexual as it sounds, he deep down loves the though of doing it up the bum

9. Handjob in public. Its easy, and hardly noticable.

8. Clean the house. Its generically breed into women...shouldnt be a biggie.

7. Get him a fucken beer when he walks in the door. To be better prepared, you should know when he comes home so its waiting for him on the door step.

6. The remote stays in his hands. Dont try to remove it.

5. Shut the fuck up when he says 'Shut the fuck up'

4. Have Sex with him. We love a good slut.

3. Offer to have sex WITH a best friend of yours (thats hot and female).

2. Cook him a steak. Cook it to his liking. Dont know how to cook? THAN LEARN!

1. Suck his cock. He will be happy forever.

Mr G.

Twitter

Well, i was finding out what this twitter site was. Still dont understand it cause im half asleep and dont have time to look at it.

However, this quote got me.


Twitter is the first thing on the web that I've been excited about in ages - Jason Kottke, Blogger

'I've been excited about in ages' hmmmm....clearly this man has never seen Porn on the internet before. I believe we need to track him down and show him some good quailty sites that will get him REALLY excited.

Come on, if youre going say something and be quoted, be realistic.

What Pornos would have us to believe

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Top 10 Ways to pick up Women

Top 10 Ways to pick up Women - These really work!!!

10. Dont chat to women. Women love being ignored. Women dont want attention. They really really dont.

9. Bring your girlfriend along, introduce her to the woman youre trying to pick up. Most chicks love a man who 'shares' his love around.

8. Be a prick. Women love not being treated right.

7. Spill drinks on their dresses than ask them to remove their clothes. A sure fire way to get them naked as quickly as possible.

6. Get as drunk as you can and try to hit on girls. Nothing turns a lady on more than slurred speech and a man not able to stand still in line while slightly slowly falling forward into the guy in front of them.

5. Grab their asses. They dont punch hard.

4. Steal from them, and let them chase you down the street while breaking down in tears. Than return the stolen item back to them a week later saying 'you found it on the footpath' They will loveee that and be in your arms in no time!

3. Act Gay. Hitting on other men is a sure fire way for women to come up to you and start grinding thier body up against yours.

2. Talk all things nerdy. Explain the difference between Star Trek, Star Wars and Battlestar Galactica. If that doesnt work, talk about Pokemon and Dragonball Z. Show them how immature you are. Women love kids.

1. Start doing homosexual stripper moves on your best male friend. What woman cant resist one guy sucking another guys cock???

iCostume

Ok, so i was browsing the net in my usual boredom and found this Blog about creating an iCostume...yes an iPod to wear.

http://trilby.wordpress.com/

Now, let me 'quote' this young gentleman.

'making the awesomest Halloween costume ever. Ok, so strictly speaking an iPod isn’t that scary, but a giant one sure is a little unsettling.'

AWESOMEST?? I think putting a white sheet and poking two eye holes in it is slightly better, or maybe dressing up like The Joker would be more 'aweseomest'. As for unsettling? Very unsettling if you're a GROWN MAN.

'Step 1. Find a box. Now this may seem like an obvious instruction, but you need to make sure your box is a good fit.'

Damn, here i was emptying matches from my match box, cause i thought it would be a REAL replica of an iPod, not a life size cut out....

'Step 2. Get yourself some acryllic paint. It’s got to be acryllic, people, or else it won’t stick on properly.'

People? You mean, there are more than one person besides yourself that would reach step 2?? Wow! COME ON PEOPLE! This man KNOWS what he is talking about!!! I just wonder..what type of job he has??

'Step 3. Get a painting. Go on, slap it on'

Slap it on what? You go from saying picking a box 'isnt as obvious as it sounds' to saying 'slap it on' for the paint. Do i slap it on myself? Get two scantily dressed ladies off the street and 'slap it on' them? Im soooo lost at this step!!! Im glad i passed grade 1 art class to actually know what to do...but what about those that havent? You say people cant find the right box, yet know how to paint???

'Step 4. Get a dinner plate and draw a nice big O towards the bottom of the pod. This is your click-wheel. Then draw an oblong at the top. This is your screen. Now, take your black paint and mix it in with the white, making a nice pale grey. Then slap it on the O.'

Why do we need the dinner plate than? Are we having dinner while we are doing this? Now, i know some may go 'its to trace the O onto the cupboard box' but you do realise, not all dinner plates are round? I only have square plates, so what do we do in this situation?? I personally like the idea of getting a dinner plater...ONLY IF THERE IS FOOD ON IT!!!

'Step 5. Then make a slightly darker grey for the screen. Voila. Looking good, isn’t it?'

No. Not Really.

'Step 6. Right, here’s where it gets fiddly. You need to draw a smaller O in the middle of your big one. I used the inside of a roll of duct-tape, but you can use what you want. Be creative. Then the wheel needs some play/fast-forward/re-wind/MENU buttons and the main screen needs its song. Choose any song you like! And here’s where you need your blue food colouring. Mix it into some white paint and you can use it for the play button in the top left and progress bar'

I believe when you write a step by step instructional, you do ONE THING AT A TIME, not..wait...5 things as you wrote here. Where do i start to pick holes in this one? 'I used the inside of a roll of duct tape, but you can use what you want. Be creative.' Wow! He is giving us creative license to use WHATEVER WE WANT to draw a smaller O. Fuck me silly. Wow. Get out. No fucken way! Its still a friggen O.

Why do we need to mix the blue food colouring with white paint? Cant we just get blue paint? Shouldnt we use the blue food colouring for...food, and use blue paint for...painting??

'Step 7. You’re pretty much there. Oh, except you need some earphones. I bought two shower-heads from Homebase for £6 each and taped them to some electical wire. Nice, huh?'

You spent 12 pounds on novetly head phones?? Im sure you could have hired a better costume for less than 12 pounds....Nice huh?...Honestly, no. You look like a wanker who has no job or girlfriend and had some free time cause World of Warcrafrt server was down. What amazes me is this isnt something that is going to be a neccassary to have a step by step instructional on...its not like putting a table together from Ikea.

Wow just an informative peice if you want to make an iPod costume. Its great for people between the ages of 3-7 i have to say, however i fail to see a 3-7 year old browsing the net for such a thing. Any educated retard can do this. But what can be said??

Mr G

My New Blog

Well here it is! My New Blog! Stay Tuned as we have fun poking fun at everyone else, just because they are stupid, moronic or just dont plain like them. Ides and suggestions are welcome!!!