Penis Envy

DID YOU KNOW that 1 in 2 people suffer from PENIS ENVY? Penis envy you ask...yes its a serious problem among teenagers and adults these days.

How can i help? You ask yourself...well, for starters you can go to a local GP to find out if you have penis envy.

Symptons include
*Enlarged Genetials (This includes Vaginal Flaps and Testicles)
*Uncontrolable Sexual Movement within the pelvic area
*Burning sensation when you eat chilli
*The ability to think you can fly
*Loss of condoms during sexual intercorse.

If any of these are present, you should consult a medical doctor as soon as possible as it may spread.

How do i catch Penis Envy you ask...well there are a number of ways

*Exchanging Bodily Fluids inside a public toilet
*Cooties
*Looking at male geneitally for long periods of time (Main cause for men)
*Masturbating while watching a threesome...the bad threesome (2 men and a woman)

What do i do if i have Penis Envy?

Well there are a range of treatments to help cure the illness. These include
*Cream: Apply to your genetils twice a day
*Tablet: To take with your three meals...may cause hunger
*Anti-presperant Spray: Just cause you smell bad

Penis Envy usually takes 6 months of no sexual activities to clear up, but with these treatments limits it to just 3 months of no sexual activities. That includes using the palm for those 'special occasions' when youre a bit lonely at night and need to rub one out.

So its not deadly? No...out of the 3 billion cases world wide reported, only 2 people have died from Penis Envy....and also drink driving.

Where to now? Well, lets help fight Penis Envy as a team!