iCostume

Ok, so i was browsing the net in my usual boredom and found this Blog about creating an iCostume...yes an iPod to wear.

http://trilby.wordpress.com/

Now, let me 'quote' this young gentleman.

'making the awesomest Halloween costume ever. Ok, so strictly speaking an iPod isn’t that scary, but a giant one sure is a little unsettling.'

AWESOMEST?? I think putting a white sheet and poking two eye holes in it is slightly better, or maybe dressing up like The Joker would be more 'aweseomest'. As for unsettling? Very unsettling if you're a GROWN MAN.

'Step 1. Find a box. Now this may seem like an obvious instruction, but you need to make sure your box is a good fit.'

Damn, here i was emptying matches from my match box, cause i thought it would be a REAL replica of an iPod, not a life size cut out....

'Step 2. Get yourself some acryllic paint. It’s got to be acryllic, people, or else it won’t stick on properly.'

People? You mean, there are more than one person besides yourself that would reach step 2?? Wow! COME ON PEOPLE! This man KNOWS what he is talking about!!! I just wonder..what type of job he has??

'Step 3. Get a painting. Go on, slap it on'

Slap it on what? You go from saying picking a box 'isnt as obvious as it sounds' to saying 'slap it on' for the paint. Do i slap it on myself? Get two scantily dressed ladies off the street and 'slap it on' them? Im soooo lost at this step!!! Im glad i passed grade 1 art class to actually know what to do...but what about those that havent? You say people cant find the right box, yet know how to paint???

'Step 4. Get a dinner plate and draw a nice big O towards the bottom of the pod. This is your click-wheel. Then draw an oblong at the top. This is your screen. Now, take your black paint and mix it in with the white, making a nice pale grey. Then slap it on the O.'

Why do we need the dinner plate than? Are we having dinner while we are doing this? Now, i know some may go 'its to trace the O onto the cupboard box' but you do realise, not all dinner plates are round? I only have square plates, so what do we do in this situation?? I personally like the idea of getting a dinner plater...ONLY IF THERE IS FOOD ON IT!!!

'Step 5. Then make a slightly darker grey for the screen. Voila. Looking good, isn’t it?'

No. Not Really.

'Step 6. Right, here’s where it gets fiddly. You need to draw a smaller O in the middle of your big one. I used the inside of a roll of duct-tape, but you can use what you want. Be creative. Then the wheel needs some play/fast-forward/re-wind/MENU buttons and the main screen needs its song. Choose any song you like! And here’s where you need your blue food colouring. Mix it into some white paint and you can use it for the play button in the top left and progress bar'

I believe when you write a step by step instructional, you do ONE THING AT A TIME, not..wait...5 things as you wrote here. Where do i start to pick holes in this one? 'I used the inside of a roll of duct tape, but you can use what you want. Be creative.' Wow! He is giving us creative license to use WHATEVER WE WANT to draw a smaller O. Fuck me silly. Wow. Get out. No fucken way! Its still a friggen O.

Why do we need to mix the blue food colouring with white paint? Cant we just get blue paint? Shouldnt we use the blue food colouring for...food, and use blue paint for...painting??

'Step 7. You’re pretty much there. Oh, except you need some earphones. I bought two shower-heads from Homebase for £6 each and taped them to some electical wire. Nice, huh?'

You spent 12 pounds on novetly head phones?? Im sure you could have hired a better costume for less than 12 pounds....Nice huh?...Honestly, no. You look like a wanker who has no job or girlfriend and had some free time cause World of Warcrafrt server was down. What amazes me is this isnt something that is going to be a neccassary to have a step by step instructional on...its not like putting a table together from Ikea.

Wow just an informative peice if you want to make an iPod costume. Its great for people between the ages of 3-7 i have to say, however i fail to see a 3-7 year old browsing the net for such a thing. Any educated retard can do this. But what can be said??

Mr G