Steve Diggler - A Life as a Stripper (Part 1)

Steve Diggler - A Life as a Stripper. - Part 1

Today im here to tell the story of Steve Diggler - Male Stripper. This is a tail of sweat, tears, nudity, hardness and limp.

'Steve Diggler, some say, was born to be a Stripper. Strippers arent made. He is a once in a life time work of art moulded by god to be a Stripper. He is truly the pinnicle of our generation.' - Ronald 'Donkey Boy' Milton.

This quote sums up Steve Diggler. He was/is a once in a life time stripper. We will explore how he can to be, and you will see Steve Diggler was BORN to STRIP.

Steve Diggler was born during a filming of a porn scence. His mother at the time had not realised she was pregnant due to the fact that the producers, close to 12 months ago, asked her to gain wait for a new special: Chubbsters. (It eventually turned into a secruity company). This was a huge shock to the filming crew, but eventually a movie was saved from it and marked Steve's first foray into film: Stick it Hard, Stick it Long, and Along comes a Baby.

'That birth scene set a new benchmark for pornographic films. It was all most a documentry. However, it did spell the end of the Director.' - Larry Films (Pornographic film critic)

'We have seized the footage and all possessions relating to the film Stick it Hard, Stick it Long and Along comes a Baby. Charges have been laid for the Director and the Producers for filming minors in underage sex acts and we expect them to be fully prosecuted in accordance of the law' - Sgt Harry Stand Melbourne Police.

The Director and producer both got 17 years for there role in the film. Both served 11 of them.

Here is Steve Diggle at a young age strutting his stuff. As you can see, he was definatly born to be a stripper. The leg kick, the shorts, the pose, the smile. It screams 'Damn, im sexy. Sex me'. Sex him people did.

'Steve had the best penis i have ever seen. Smooth, round, big. He was such a good lover. He really didnt care what i wanted. It was the best. However, once he was done he left. I wanted to stay and cuddle but he was gone.' - Former lover who wishes to be unnamed (Kirsten Bell)

Doveton - The Saga Begins

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Like Tahotally Amazing...Not.

When i started this blog, it was all because some idiot decided to dress up in an iPod costume (guthrdav45.blogspot.com/2009/03/icostume.html) and realised that blogger was for idiots. So i kept his blog bookmarked just to see if there were any other costumes...sadly, none. However, he did post this blog (found here) which i just have to share. Its his 'Like Tahotally Amazing' Blog on Lake Tahoe which he lists in point form and I'm going to point out how ridiculously stupid they are.

• Cycling along the marina, down to the beach.

Ok...I'm sorry, I've never ridden by bike along a beach before or from one place to a beach. I mean, there is sand and water. Unless this water is the fountain of youth, its still just water with sand, which i believe is around 95% of all beaches have?? And riding a bike...Wow..not impressive.

• Staring into a clear night's sky, stars like lights on a ceiling.

QUICKLY LOOK AT THE LIGHT ON THE CEILING! Blinded? You should be cause that's what lights on a ceiling does to you! I've never looked up at a ceiling and gone 'Wow, this reminds me of a clear night full of stars' cause i all ways get BLINDED. You idiot.

• Floating on a peddle boat, dangling your feet in the crystal clear water

People, the last time i was on a peddle boat you had to PEDDLE it. These boats are not floating boats, otherwise they would be called floating boats. Your feet are not there for dangling...they could be cut off if an actual peddle boat comes past. Hey, i know what I'll be doing on a peddle boat when I'm on it next...peddling.

• Skimming stones on the lake as dusk settles

Why does it have to be when dusk settles? Why cant it be when the sun rises? Does it have to be skimming stones? Can i skim a dead body? All valid questions. However, it still remains why we need to do it at dusk. Other, more entertaining activities also include Jelly Wrestling, Sexual intercourse and Grand Theft Auto on the Laptop you brought.

• Having a Milkshake, walking along a boardwalk, while families frolic on the beach
• Sharing a Beer with friends, under July 4th Fireworks

I'm sorry, which one is it? Milkshake or Beer? You cant have it both ways however i just thought of a brilliant new milkshake flavour. I dunno if beer is the right thing for families on the beach....especially since they will be there during the day which isn't a good time to go drinking. And what about the kids! i can see a 3 year old knocking back a beer now. Make up your mind, is it beer or milkshake families?

I hope this guy really stays as much of an idiot as he is cause i could use his material more often. Feedback appreciated.

Mr G

Stevie (Blind when Drunk) Wonder and Kat (Cat) S Part 3

Stevie (Blind when Drunk) Wonder and Kat (Cat) S



Two white rappers with no talent. This is their story.



Part 3: Sorry, Excitement Xylophones Under Arrest, Lady (SEXUAL)





Sorry, Excitement Xylophones Under Arrest, Lady (SEXUAL) was formed in early 2007 when Stevie (Blind when Drunk) Wonder met up with Kat (Cat) S in a rap contest. It was here that BWD and Cat had a immediate like for each others work. However, no one else did.


BWD and Cat started penning their first album together under their new act name SEXUAL. Their first single released was 'Microphone Microphone, its what we use to sing into'. The problem with this single was the fact they were rappers, and rappers don't sing. It didn't even chart in the market where BWD was best known for, Tibetan charts.


Even though they were struggling for money, and BWD selling his body for...well, unmentionable acts, and Cat going back to breeding cats, they realised their first album 'Organic Rabbit Goes Away. Simple, Machine (ORGASM). Due to the title being shorten to ORGASM it was a raging favourite in the sex charts, peaking at number 1 for the first week, selling an amazing 154,000 records. However, when people realised what it was, it set a new record for most album returns within a week...154,000.


SEXUAL ended 2007 with a range of awards including 'Worst New Rap Act' and 'Most likely to be caught having sex with animals'


2008 saw a change in direction for the duo. Instead of heading west to record albums and singles, they moved to the east, which upsetted absolutely no one. The decided to move once again to the quiet coastal town of Sydney, to get away from all the hustle and bustle of Melbourne.


It was Sydney where BWD met his new girlfriend Candy. Candy had a like for...Candy. She wasnt the brightest person and suggested they write a rap song named Candy. All about Candy. BWD did write a song about Candy as a side project to SEXUAL. However, when he sung about the chocolate, his girlfriend was not too impressed with this. Needless to say 2008 ended with the couple breaking up. Leasthe got some boob action.


So around comes 2009 what will SEXUAL have for the future? With their 2nd album in works at the moment, and no hope based on their past failings, one has to ask...Why do they keep trying??


Mr G

Stevie (Blind when Drunk) and Kat (Cat) S. Part 2

Stevie (Blind when Drunk) and Kat (Cat) S.



Two white rappers with no talent. This is their story.



Part 2: Kat (Cat) S.





Kat (Cat) S. was born in a little country town called Toorak on Jan 15th 1986. From an early age, Kat had an fascination with cats. She started playing with them as soon as could walk and have been caring for them ever since. At the ripe old age of 7 she was granted a title 'Crazy Cat Pre-teen illegal to have sex with Girl'.


With the cats all ways meowing in the back ground, Kat decided to pursue rapping, at the age of 10 realising a very very very oh so very unsuccessful song 'Meow' where she just recorded her cats meowing. 'It was like slaughtering a goat' according to Rolling Stones Magazine. With this setback, Kat managed to finish Primary School like her now co-rapper at the age of 11 in 1997.

During High School, Kat also entered the High School Talent show like Stevie, however at completely different schools. He re-mix of the early very unsuccessful 'like slaughtering a goat' single 'Meow' proved equally unpopular, getting booed and hiss off the staged. Did this not deter Kat and decided to take a new approach: Put words in her songs.


In 2002 Kat released a new single, titled 'Water'. With the noise of oceans and seas in the background, it sounded more of a song for amateur night at the local Poetry club rather than a rap song where the only lyrics was 'H to da 2 to da O.o.ooooo' It peaked at a low low looooooooww 514 on the Japanese charts. The best result for Kat ever.


Later in the year, Kat released her album 'Fire Extinguishers are for putting out Fires' which was a sure fire flop. Maybe they needed a Fire Extinguisher to put out her career. This did no deter Kat, as she spent the next 2 years locked away in a Monk Monastery learning the ways of the Nun. The results were inclusive.


Early 2005 saw Kat back in the studio to record her, still unfinished project, 'Nuns and Monks: The forbidden Love', rumoured to be unfinished because no studio would waste resources on it, even if paid $1million and no record company would sign her up, even if paid $10million as both feel they would end up losing more money due to a poor reputation with the public as a result of signing Kat up.


It was early 2007 that Kat met up with Stevie (Blind when Drunk) Wonder to form the all white group: Sorry, Excitement Xylophones Under Arrest, Lady! (SEXUAL!).


Part 3 will continue with the SEXUAL! story.


Mr G

Stevie (Blind when Drunk) Wonder and Kat (Kat) S.

Stevie (Blind when Drunk) Wonder and Kat (Cat) S.

Two white rappers with no talent. This is their story.

Part 1: Stevie (Blind when Drunk) Wonder





Stevie (Blind when Drunk) Wonder was born in a little seaside town called St Kilda on August 17th 1987. From a young age, he started drinking, in fact getting drunk off rum balls at the ripe old age of . Here it was he impressed a family Christmas party, in 1991, with his own version of Ice Ice Baby. Since this wasn't hard to emulate, and due to the fact he was very drunk off Rum Balls, he focused his music life to rapping.


However, an early setback in 1993 was his name, and the legal action presented on him by the real Stevie Wonder. It was at this point he needed a Rapper name to sell his music by and so Blind When Drunk (BWD) was born.


His first album, released at 7, titled 'Rum Balls for Kids' was a sure fire flop, peaking at a woeful 278 in the New Zealand Charts and failing to chart anywhere else on the planet. However, it did chart at #3 on the Tibetan Charts, although it was the only album realised there in over 50 years, losing to The Complete Works of Mozart (Selling 3 records) and Tibetan Love Making Songs (Selling 2 records). In fact, the only sale was a mistake as it got mixed up with Mozart.

The next 5 years saw BWD go into exile (Attend Schooling) where he finally finished Primary School at the age of 11. Not an achievement as 98% of kids that age do pass Primary school first time around.


BWD continue to pursue Rapping even in high school. He entered the Talent Show in 2000 with a song simply entitled 'Masturbation'. Needless to say, demonstrating it on stage isn't considered a talent, and was promptly suspended for the next 2 weeks from school.


BWD continue his studies, doing music all the way through, and even graduating in 2005 with all his honours in Musical Studies, however failed to complete English as, in his words, 'Could not see any rhythm of beat'. It was Early 2006 that he realised a somewhat uncontroversial single 'Pants and Trousers' where he raps about Pants and Trousers. It, again, didn't chart at all. It was followed up by his 2nd album in the same year 'T-Shirts and Shorts are not for Winter' pretty much summing up what any sane person would not wear in Winter, especially how cold it gets in St Kilda.


It was early 2007 that BWD met up with now his associate act, Kat (Cat) S to form the all White Rap Group: Sorry, Excitement Xylophones Under Arrest Lady (SEXUAL)

Part 2 will continue with Kat (Cat) S story following up with the Duo

Facebook Stalker Song

Well, i thought of doing something different after talking to two lovely friends of mine. I thought of a Song for Facebook stalkers...the tune i use is a classic Stalker song by Sting, Every Breath you take.

Every Status Update you do
Every Application you add
Every Friend you add
Every Wall Post you make
I'll be watching you

Every Time you Log on
Every Word you Type
Every Application you Play
Every Group you Join
I'll be watching you

Oh cant you see
You belong on my Friend List
How my poor Wall Posts Lack
With every Status Update you Do

Every Mouse Click you Make
Every Page you View
Every Lol you use
Every Emoticon you type
I'll be watching you

Since you've gone Private i've been unable to View your Profile
I Dream at night I can only see your Picture Tags
I Look at other Profiles But its you i Cant View
I Feel so Offline and i long for your Wall Post
I Keep Poking you, baby, Please

Oh Cant you see
You belong on my Friend List
How my Poor Wall Posts Lack
With Every Status Update you do

Every Status Update you do
Every Application you add
Every Friend you add
Every Wall Post you Make
I'll be Watching You

Every Status Update you Do
Every Wall Post you Make
I'll Be Watching you

I'll Be Watching You
I'll Be Watching You
I'll Be Watching You

Enjoy! Mr G

Bad Bloggers

Wow. I was browsing blogs to make fun of and i can across this delightful person and i just felt the need to post something.

Lets get some feedback first on this person who has such a delightfully painful and stupid blog.

Her name is Cami. She is 20 years old.

Good start Cami.

She works as a hair stylist. Its the 'FUNNEST' job in the world.

Well, Cami. I'm sorry to say funnest is not a word. Hair stlyist?? I'm sorry i think being Hugh Hefner would be the 'Funnest' job in the world. That's from a male prespective. But keep up with a job that suits your IQ of about 90. While we are at it, the closest word to 'Funnest' is actually 'Funest' which is an adjective meaning boding or causing evil or death; fatal; disastrous. Im taking your job is one that causes evil or death. I suggest you don't quit your job cause its highly unlikely you would get a job anywhere else.

Cami has an amazing boyfriend she has so much fun with!

REALLY?! Fuck me...you have fun with your boyfriend and he is amazing??? I think the two go hand in hand. Now Cami next line wasn't the brightest moment in her 'introduction' but it made me laugh.

i have the cutest neice and nephew! and soon to be another nephew and another baby in september!

Cami...you are female. You can not be a nephew unless you under go some surgery. Also to add you are 'soon to be ANOTHER nephew'. You can not be more than one nephew if you were a nephew in the first place. Also you list all these neices and nephews than at the end it's 'another baby' i feel sorry for this baby! You don't take the time to list any relation to you.

Well, Cami finishes up by saying thats just a little insight into my life and the things i love most. Ok. Cool. You love your boyfriend. You seem to enjoy a job that brings evil to people, in your words. What about your siblings? Do you have siblings? You don't love your parents? How do they feel about being left out? What about your friends? You're from Utah, the home of Mormans...family should be the first thing in your list. Im am outraged that you forgot your parents.

I was reading her latest blog about Lake Powell (Notice the capitals at the start?) and where do i begin to pick this apart? (For my readers the post is here: http://camibrems.blogspot.com/2009/06/lake-powell-2009.html) Pretty basic, had a good time, ate junk food, bad whether etc. But she gets to stay on the Arizona side of the lake next week which will be very different. ITS A FUCKEN LAKE. ITS THE SAME ON BOTH SIDES. The only difference is she is in a different state! Just like our Murry river...ITS NO FUCKING DIFFERENT than staying on either side.

Well, Australia, i made my anger clear, and pulled apart her blog. Cami, welcome to the list of blogs i will be watching from now on. The best thing about you being mentally challenged is you got 5 Blogs i can look at and pull apart.

Mr G

Midget Blog

The Midget Blog

Well, i was away in the UK for the past week and someone suggested i do a blog on the English. i decieded against this, however she did give me a good idea for Midgets. What are they? Where do they come from? What do they do? How do you treat one?

Well all that will be answered for you below.

What are they?

Midgets are a smaller form of Humans. They usually are jolly type characters, well rounded and grow to a massive 2 feet tall. Puddles post drowning risks so it not unusual for them to be wearing life jackets or floaties when it is raining outside. Small items, usually reserved for 'Not Suitable for 3years and under' apply to midgets as well.

Where do they come from?

Origins of Midgets are somewhat clouded in mystery still to this day. Alot of people have studied them, and spent years on trying to work out exactly where they come from. The most common theory out there is they evolved, just like Humans. However, they didnt come from mammels like our ancestors, they came from more a plant life. To be exact, Potatoes are their origins. They saw the capabilities of these walking, living breathing animals and decided as potatoes, would go up through the dirt and explore life just like the others thus being the first plant life with intellgence.

What do they do?

Midgets dont do much, except they are highly sort after by freak shows where people pay to look, point and laugh at how small they are. This is how they make their earnings. Now, midgets dont need money as most people do (usually cause they cant see above the counter to buy anything) but rather enjoy getting paid with Bananas.

How do you treat a midget?

You have to be delicate when treating midgets as they are fragile and tend to break, espically when you post them through the mail. Just as in freak shows, you can point and laugh at them. They generally enjoy this if you've thrown them a banana first. Whats the worst that could happen? They might bite your ankles, in which case you can easily step on them.

And thats all you need to know about midgets. Any further questions or information needed just ask.

Mr G

Marriage for a Man

Today i thought i would write about the 'Pro's and Con's' of marriage for a man.

Lets start with the Cons

Having to wake up to the same person every single bloodly day.

I think the title says it all. Why would you want to roll over and see that same face? what if they arent to 'standard' after 5 years? Just not good enough. Woman have to maintain a standard and have to look good when they are 60 years old.

Joint bank accounts.

Why should she share in your wealth? You been out there earning the hard money, and SHE gets to spend it on new shoes and dresses? Not fair. And how does shoes improve the quality of living? You only need 3 pairs: Work shoes, Sports Shoes and Suit shoes. Thongs are not shoes.

Having to spend 'alone time' with the missus.

Its called ALONE time meaning to be ALONE. Not snuggling with your significant other. Not going on sunday drives to the country side to see a nice quint little town. No. Alone times means spending time on your own, most likely masturbating to porn or watching that sport show you love some much.

Less Sex

Lets face it. Youre going to get less sex. She just not in the mood cause she wants to spend 'Quality Time' with you. There is no such thing as quality time. The real reason why we married you is cause youre the best sex ever. We lock you up expecting to get it all the time. How dumb men can be sometimes.

Try to divorce, it costs money

Stupid really. If you get sick of someone, you should be able to leave with what YOU earnt. Not giving half of it away. Marriage is costly. The wedding cost money, the divorce costs more. And worst of all, they will put a hex out on you with all their female friends, so there goes sleeping with her sister.

And now for the pros...

Nothing. There is no positive for a man. You get sucked in, balls beating up, lose half your money and total freedom and what you get in return? A kid? Wow!! Maybe 2 or 5...which doesnt really matter cause you spend MORE money on them, and unless they are a Tiger Woods or Roger Federer you wont see any of it again.

Mr G

Penis Envy

DID YOU KNOW that 1 in 2 people suffer from PENIS ENVY? Penis envy you ask...yes its a serious problem among teenagers and adults these days.

How can i help? You ask yourself...well, for starters you can go to a local GP to find out if you have penis envy.

Symptons include
*Enlarged Genetials (This includes Vaginal Flaps and Testicles)
*Uncontrolable Sexual Movement within the pelvic area
*Burning sensation when you eat chilli
*The ability to think you can fly
*Loss of condoms during sexual intercorse.

If any of these are present, you should consult a medical doctor as soon as possible as it may spread.

How do i catch Penis Envy you ask...well there are a number of ways

*Exchanging Bodily Fluids inside a public toilet
*Cooties
*Looking at male geneitally for long periods of time (Main cause for men)
*Masturbating while watching a threesome...the bad threesome (2 men and a woman)

What do i do if i have Penis Envy?

Well there are a range of treatments to help cure the illness. These include
*Cream: Apply to your genetils twice a day
*Tablet: To take with your three meals...may cause hunger
*Anti-presperant Spray: Just cause you smell bad

Penis Envy usually takes 6 months of no sexual activities to clear up, but with these treatments limits it to just 3 months of no sexual activities. That includes using the palm for those 'special occasions' when youre a bit lonely at night and need to rub one out.

So its not deadly? No...out of the 3 billion cases world wide reported, only 2 people have died from Penis Envy....and also drink driving.

Where to now? Well, lets help fight Penis Envy as a team!

Ways to Pick up the ladies

Been a while since i've blogged so i thought of sharing some sure fire ways to pick up those ladies. Yes lads, feeling a bit lonely? Cronic masturbater?? Well, head out to the town and try some of these classy ways to impress those ladies.

- We Should Have sex.

What woman cant refuse sex? Really, lets be up front about it. JUST GET IT OUT THERE. For extra success: Have your penis out when you ask her...just to show her you are ready!

- Im better looking than your boyfriend.

Hmmm this is a good one. You see, why would you settle for 2nd best when you can have the best? I know if i was a woman i would want to upgrade. Just say its like a new pair of shoes to replace the old ones. Women understand shoes.

- Nice tits.

Well, better way to compliment a woman? This nice little 'two worder' will have her creaming in her pants.

- I have a sports car.

How many times have you seen older men with young hot attractive women cause they have a sports car? Now for this to succedd, you done need a sports car. Just get some cardboard cut outs, and attach it to your car. If you do it right, it will look like a ferrari in no time!

- I would like to touch you in the fun box.

Who wouldnt like to be touched in the fun box? Its a FUN box. It has to be fun. If they refuse this request, clearly the ladies dont want to have fun. FUN BOX is FUN for a reason.

- Wanna see my penis?

Nothing says i love you more than 'wanna see my penis?' Its a confidence pick up line this one. Everyone knows a penis is ugly to look at and your commitment to show it to a girl you just met means you have courage and are proud of it. A lady will be impressed by this courage. She will surely say yes. What could possibly go wrong???

- We should have Anal Sex.

Right. Nothing says i want you more than preparing to shove your cock up her poop hole. She will again be impressed by your willingness to go that extra mile for her. And women LOVE Anal. You know, who wouldnt love something hard and big shoved up their ass???

I put the challenge out there to try these pick up lines. After you say just 2 of these, you will be back at her place banging her brains out. Do you think you have better pick up lines than this? Let me know and i will tell you if they are epic awesomness to get you in with the ladies or a sure fire flop like an old man without viagra.

Mr G

Beer Scam

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties & local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink by any woman. Many females use a date-rape-drug on the market called ' Beer' . The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large kegs.. Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them. A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no-strings-attached sex. Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several Beers , men will often succumb to the desires to sleep with horrific looking women to whom they would never normally be attracted. After drinking Beer , men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that 'something bad' occurred. At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as 'a relationship'. In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer-term form of servitude and punishment referred to as 'marriage'. Men are much more susceptible to this scam after Beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females. Please forward this warning to every male you know. If you fall victim to this ' Beer' scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly victimized men. For the support group nearest you, just look up 'Golf Courses' in the phone book. For a video to see how Beer works click here: Beer Demo

Japan

Found this photo. Nuff Said.

Willie Stroker

Came across this photo. Nuff said :)

Public Notices

Well, i was wondering what could i post today? Its been a while and i need something to get going...I know, lets read the public notices and comment on them.

I shit you not, these are all real.


First up are some sex chat lines.

'Action in 2mins'

You're telling me that for a lazy 1.95pm (thats 3.90 all up) i can get action? On the phone?! Isnt that what they are suppose to do? give action? Now all i want to know is do i have to wait the 2 minutes or does it happen within the 2 minutes...hmmm

'Grannies Plus more'

PLUS MORE?! WHAT MORE COULD YOU POSSIBLE WANT?! ITS GRANNIES!!!!

'Phone Satisfaction'

Yes, pay 1.95 for a phone..that will satisfy you......

'Trannies Live'

There are pre-recorded sex messages?? You mean that they arent all ways live??

'You've been a naughty boy'

No, no i havent.

Yes, these and more are all in the Herald Sun every day. I could go on, and i probably will. Stay tuned.

Mr G

Why Letter Openers are Pointless

I was watching tv today and i notice that people use letter openers to open a letter. I can see it working for packages that are wrapped up in string, but a normal envelope?? Ok, so where do i start?

An envelope is made out of PAPER. If you are too retarded or not strong enough to rip a peice of paper open, than you dont deserve a letter.

A letter opener is just another knife. I use a knife for butter, if i wanted to open mail, why not just use a butter knife? Its not that hard! Plus i could save about $10 on buying a pointless device that i can easily accomplished with these two little things God gave me...HANDS.

What if the person doesnt have hands? You might ask...Well, you cant exactly hold a letter opener without hands now can you?

Letter openers are pointless....

What guys expect after each date

Ok this is slowly starting to turn into a sexist blog, but hey with all this feminism around and women TRYING so hard to find the right guy, this might help them actually get a guy.

Here is the thing, Date by Date, what guys want...plus some extra tips for girls to know.

Date 1: A Kiss. Thats if it goes well. If he wants to kiss you, it means he likes you. Well, at least wants to have sex with you.

Date 2: A Grope. Guys love tits, some guys like ass. Either way, guys want to feel and touch the ass or some nice boobs.

Date 3: Hand Job or at least some boobs. By this time, the guy has invested some hard earn money into this 'relationship'. Its time for those ladies to start repaying the man for his effort.

Date 4: Blowjob. If the lady doesnt like giving head, than she better start putting out. A guy will go out with a girl who doesnt give head on one condition: Sex.

Date 5: Time to get Naked. If by this stage the man hasnt seen the lady naked, he will be wondering why he hasnt gone to a prostitute yet. This stage, women can get away by not having sex (im on my period) but that only works for a week.

Date 6-8. SEX TIME. Guys that dont get sex on the 6th date will give it one or two more goes to see if they can get it. Ladies, if you havent put out by this time, its over. The man will merly move on. Get those legs open, and let him slide inside you ladies.

Women, what do you expect? Men are not that hard to please (as seen in the 10 Ways to please a man). Also, if a guy pays for something, it doesnt mean he really likes you. It means he wants more action sooner. No guy is stupid enough to spend money on a lady unless sex is involved. Thats why prostiutes stay in business cause if they wanted to blow money on sex, thats where they go. Same principles in dating.

Top 10 ways to please a Man

Ok, i did the 10 ways for picking up women, what about the Men??

10. Give him Anal. As homosexual as it sounds, he deep down loves the though of doing it up the bum

9. Handjob in public. Its easy, and hardly noticable.

8. Clean the house. Its generically breed into women...shouldnt be a biggie.

7. Get him a fucken beer when he walks in the door. To be better prepared, you should know when he comes home so its waiting for him on the door step.

6. The remote stays in his hands. Dont try to remove it.

5. Shut the fuck up when he says 'Shut the fuck up'

4. Have Sex with him. We love a good slut.

3. Offer to have sex WITH a best friend of yours (thats hot and female).

2. Cook him a steak. Cook it to his liking. Dont know how to cook? THAN LEARN!

1. Suck his cock. He will be happy forever.

Mr G.

Twitter

Well, i was finding out what this twitter site was. Still dont understand it cause im half asleep and dont have time to look at it.

However, this quote got me.


Twitter is the first thing on the web that I've been excited about in ages - Jason Kottke, Blogger

'I've been excited about in ages' hmmmm....clearly this man has never seen Porn on the internet before. I believe we need to track him down and show him some good quailty sites that will get him REALLY excited.

Come on, if youre going say something and be quoted, be realistic.

What Pornos would have us to believe

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Top 10 Ways to pick up Women

Top 10 Ways to pick up Women - These really work!!!

10. Dont chat to women. Women love being ignored. Women dont want attention. They really really dont.

9. Bring your girlfriend along, introduce her to the woman youre trying to pick up. Most chicks love a man who 'shares' his love around.

8. Be a prick. Women love not being treated right.

7. Spill drinks on their dresses than ask them to remove their clothes. A sure fire way to get them naked as quickly as possible.

6. Get as drunk as you can and try to hit on girls. Nothing turns a lady on more than slurred speech and a man not able to stand still in line while slightly slowly falling forward into the guy in front of them.

5. Grab their asses. They dont punch hard.

4. Steal from them, and let them chase you down the street while breaking down in tears. Than return the stolen item back to them a week later saying 'you found it on the footpath' They will loveee that and be in your arms in no time!

3. Act Gay. Hitting on other men is a sure fire way for women to come up to you and start grinding thier body up against yours.

2. Talk all things nerdy. Explain the difference between Star Trek, Star Wars and Battlestar Galactica. If that doesnt work, talk about Pokemon and Dragonball Z. Show them how immature you are. Women love kids.

1. Start doing homosexual stripper moves on your best male friend. What woman cant resist one guy sucking another guys cock???

iCostume

Ok, so i was browsing the net in my usual boredom and found this Blog about creating an iCostume...yes an iPod to wear.

http://trilby.wordpress.com/

Now, let me 'quote' this young gentleman.

'making the awesomest Halloween costume ever. Ok, so strictly speaking an iPod isn’t that scary, but a giant one sure is a little unsettling.'

AWESOMEST?? I think putting a white sheet and poking two eye holes in it is slightly better, or maybe dressing up like The Joker would be more 'aweseomest'. As for unsettling? Very unsettling if you're a GROWN MAN.

'Step 1. Find a box. Now this may seem like an obvious instruction, but you need to make sure your box is a good fit.'

Damn, here i was emptying matches from my match box, cause i thought it would be a REAL replica of an iPod, not a life size cut out....

'Step 2. Get yourself some acryllic paint. It’s got to be acryllic, people, or else it won’t stick on properly.'

People? You mean, there are more than one person besides yourself that would reach step 2?? Wow! COME ON PEOPLE! This man KNOWS what he is talking about!!! I just wonder..what type of job he has??

'Step 3. Get a painting. Go on, slap it on'

Slap it on what? You go from saying picking a box 'isnt as obvious as it sounds' to saying 'slap it on' for the paint. Do i slap it on myself? Get two scantily dressed ladies off the street and 'slap it on' them? Im soooo lost at this step!!! Im glad i passed grade 1 art class to actually know what to do...but what about those that havent? You say people cant find the right box, yet know how to paint???

'Step 4. Get a dinner plate and draw a nice big O towards the bottom of the pod. This is your click-wheel. Then draw an oblong at the top. This is your screen. Now, take your black paint and mix it in with the white, making a nice pale grey. Then slap it on the O.'

Why do we need the dinner plate than? Are we having dinner while we are doing this? Now, i know some may go 'its to trace the O onto the cupboard box' but you do realise, not all dinner plates are round? I only have square plates, so what do we do in this situation?? I personally like the idea of getting a dinner plater...ONLY IF THERE IS FOOD ON IT!!!

'Step 5. Then make a slightly darker grey for the screen. Voila. Looking good, isn’t it?'

No. Not Really.

'Step 6. Right, here’s where it gets fiddly. You need to draw a smaller O in the middle of your big one. I used the inside of a roll of duct-tape, but you can use what you want. Be creative. Then the wheel needs some play/fast-forward/re-wind/MENU buttons and the main screen needs its song. Choose any song you like! And here’s where you need your blue food colouring. Mix it into some white paint and you can use it for the play button in the top left and progress bar'

I believe when you write a step by step instructional, you do ONE THING AT A TIME, not..wait...5 things as you wrote here. Where do i start to pick holes in this one? 'I used the inside of a roll of duct tape, but you can use what you want. Be creative.' Wow! He is giving us creative license to use WHATEVER WE WANT to draw a smaller O. Fuck me silly. Wow. Get out. No fucken way! Its still a friggen O.

Why do we need to mix the blue food colouring with white paint? Cant we just get blue paint? Shouldnt we use the blue food colouring for...food, and use blue paint for...painting??

'Step 7. You’re pretty much there. Oh, except you need some earphones. I bought two shower-heads from Homebase for £6 each and taped them to some electical wire. Nice, huh?'

You spent 12 pounds on novetly head phones?? Im sure you could have hired a better costume for less than 12 pounds....Nice huh?...Honestly, no. You look like a wanker who has no job or girlfriend and had some free time cause World of Warcrafrt server was down. What amazes me is this isnt something that is going to be a neccassary to have a step by step instructional on...its not like putting a table together from Ikea.

Wow just an informative peice if you want to make an iPod costume. Its great for people between the ages of 3-7 i have to say, however i fail to see a 3-7 year old browsing the net for such a thing. Any educated retard can do this. But what can be said??

Mr G

My New Blog

Well here it is! My New Blog! Stay Tuned as we have fun poking fun at everyone else, just because they are stupid, moronic or just dont plain like them. Ides and suggestions are welcome!!!